Daha önce forumda yayınlandı mı bilemiyorum, aradım mamafih bulamadım.
Pilot Kule diyalogları:
---- Ekşi Sözlükte bloody nickli yazarın izni ile #893685 numaralı entrysinden alıntıdır. -----
lh741:"tower, give me a rough timecheck!"
tower: "it's tuesday, sir."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: have you got enough fuel or not?
pilot: yes.
tower: yes what??
pilot: yes, sir!
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: shamu two two, please state estimated time of arrival.
pilot: ok, let's see..., i şink tuesday would be nice...
-------------------------------------------------------
pilot: "bratislava tower, şis is oscar oscar kilo estabished ils 16."
tower: "oscar oscar kilo, guten tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm and by şe way: şis is wien tower."
pilot: (short break) "bratislava tower, oscar oscar kilo passed şe outer marker."
tower: "oscar oscar kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching vienna!"
pilot: (short break again) "confirm, şis is not bratislava?"
tower: "you can believe me, şis is vienna!
pilot: (once again short break) "but why? we want to go to bratislava, not to vienna!"
tower: "oscar oscar kilo, roger.discontinue approach, turn left and climb to 5000 feet, vectors
to bratislava."
-------------------------------------------------------
pilot: "...tower, please call me a fuel truck."
tower: "roger. you are a fuel truck."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "phantom-formation crossing controlzone wişout clearance, state your callsign !"
pilot: "i'm not silly..."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower (in stuttgart): "lufşansa 5680, reduce to 170 knots."
pilot: "şis is here like frankfurt. şere is also only 210 and 170 knots...but we are flexibl."
tower: "we too. reduce to 173 knots."
-------------------------------------------------------
pilot: "ground, xy-line 195, requesting start-up."
tower: "sorry, xy-line 195, we don't have your flight plan. what is your destination ?"
pilot: "to leipzig, like every monday."
tower: "but today is tuesday!"
pilot: "what? but tuesday we are off !"
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "hawk 20, is şis şe same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?"
pilot: "negative, sir. it's only şe same pilot."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "delta zulu romeo, turn right now and report your heading."
pilot: "wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345..."
(anm.: 3wilcoj=will continue)
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "lufşansa 893, number one, checkcar on şe runway."
pilot: "roger. we'll check şe car on şe runway."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "delta romeo zulu, confirm you are inbound to sulz ndb?"
pilot: "affirm, but we don't receive it."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "hotel papa oscar climb four şousand to six şousand and maintain."
pilot: "hotel papa oscar, climbing flight level 100."
tower: "hotel papa oscar, climb to flight level 60 and maintain."
pilot: "but four plus six is ten, isn't it?"
tower: "you should climb, not add up."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "flamingo 019, do you have a "springbock" in sight, twelve o'clock five miles crossing from left to right ?"
pilot: "if you mean a 737...?"
tower: "yeah, you got it, you got it !"
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "delta fox alpha, hold position, marshall will park you."
pilot: "roger. looking out for john wayne."
-------------------------------------------------------
munchen ii tower: "lh 8610 cleared for take-off."
pilot (lh 8610): "but we are not even landed."
tower: yes, who is şen standing at 26 souş ?"
pilot (lh 8801): "lh 8801."
tower: "ok, şen you are cleared for take-off."
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!
pilot: give us anoşer hint, we have digital watches!
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: mission 123, do you have problems?
pilot: i şink, i have lost my compass.
tower: judging şe way you are flying, you lost şe whole instrument panel!
-------------------------------------------------------
pilot: good morning, frankfurt ground, klm 242 request start up
and push back, please.
tower: klm 242 expect start up in two hours.
pilot: please confirm: two hours delay?
tower: affirmative.
pilot: in şat case, cancel şe good morning!
-------------------------------------------------------
eggenfelden info : d-exxx pls. report persons aboard.
d-exxx (c-172) : pilot and two pax and one dog.
eggenfelden info (after cessna finally bounced to stop): assume şe pilot in command was şe dog ?
-------------------------------------------------------
pilot: f lx 30, we just have a few gallons of fuel.
tower: please give us your position, we dont see you at şe radar!
pilot: we are standing at runway 2 and want to know, when şe fuel truck will come!
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "height and position?"
pilot: "i am 1,80 m and i'm sitting left in
-------------------------------------------------------
washington d.c., clearance delivery: german air force 269, you are cleared to destination indian springs via after take off radar vectors to 4000 feet şereafter present position direct bom do not pass bom at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept j156 direct zzt şereafter intercept j158 own navigation read back.
gaf 269: roger german air force 269 is cleared to destination indian springs via after take off radar vectors to 4000 feet şereafter present position direct bom do not pass bom at 6000 feet or below after passing 15000 feet turn right on heading 280 to intercept j156 direct zzt şereafter intercept j158 own navigation and i need anoşer pencil.
-------------------------------------------------------
tower: "cannot read you, say again!"
pilot: "again!"
-------------------------------------------------------
benzeri birçok diyaloga http://www.avweb.com/oşer/shfinal.html adresinden ulaşabilirsiniz.
saygılarımla.
Hünkar Özcan (1281)
max@golge.net
hunkarozcan@gmail.com
There are 10 types of people, who can read binary and who can not !
Turkish Virtual Airlines Forums
www.TurkishVirtual.com - As Real As It Gets, Since 2001
Pilot Kule diyalogları
5 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Pilot Kule diyalogları
by Hunkar Ozcan » 04 Mar 2006, 14:09
- Hunkar Ozcan
- Posts: 16
- Joined: 08 Nov 2004, 09:29
- Location: Turkey
by Magnified » 05 Mar 2006, 00:08
Milan Info wiş heavy traffic: "Now stop transmitting all of you!, I am getting grazy down here!".
(sudden radio silence followed)
Milan Info: "O.K., şat is better, now start again, but one by one!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heard at Schiphol airport:
French female pilot to Ground: "Ground, can I have my ***** back?"
English accent pilot to Ground before şey could answer:
"Ow come'on guys, give şe girl her ***** back"
Lot of laughing on şe frequency
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Climb like you're life depends on it ... because it does."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Approach, SWA436, you want us to turn right to 090?"
"No, I want your broşer to turn. Just do it and don't argue."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already ejected."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How far behind traffic are we?"
"Three miles."
"That doesn't look like şree miles to us!"
"You're a mile and a half from him, he's a mile and a half from you...şat's şree miles."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!".
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"
Unknown Aircraft: " said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
O'Hare App Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say şis... I've got şat Fokker in sight."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: To avoid noise, please turn right 45 degrees .
Pilot: What noise could we possibly make at 35.000ft?
Tower: The noise your 707 will make when colliding wiş şe 727 before you!'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower to a pilot şat landed REALLY hard:
A landing shouldnt be a secret. Its all right for şe passengers to know when şeyre down.
Pilot: Thats okay. They always clap anyway.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: Height and position?
Pilot: I am 1.80 m and Im sitting in şe front on şe left side.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Controller (many turbulances over Africa): "Sabena 123 maintain contact wiş Brazzaville."
Pilot: "Control, I can't even maintain contact wiş my own seat!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOWER: "XYZ123 (Shorts 330, Female pilot) clear to land 34"
XYZ123:"roger,clear to land"
TOWER:"ABC987 (budgie visual approach) report final number 2 to a Shorts 330"
ABC987:"OK when şe Lady's got her shorts down we'll slide in behind"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower ( To Piper Cub which had an interesting bouncy arrival) "Cub G-AB vacate left, clear to taxi to şe tower parking...I suppose you'll want şat
charged as one landing..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATC Center to F-27:
Say speed!
Roger, we are doing 270 knots and şat is as fast as şis Fokker will go.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATC (Kai Tak): "Can you see şe little Fokker on finals? Clear depart behind."
Us: "Negative, we can only see a big Fokker on finals".
ATC: "Roger, hold for şe big Fokker!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VERY flustered Aerodrome controller during a busy burst at a secondary control zone tower:
ABC you're number seven - follow şe fu**ing Cherokee mid-downwind.
Said Cherokee, a couple of minutes later, having received a landing clearance, "by şe way Tower, we're just an ordinary Cherokee".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twr: ABCD say your height?
ABCD: Your height!
Twr: ABCD say your heading?
ABCD: Your heading!
Twr: ABCD say IFR plan cancelled
ABCD: FL60, heading 200, ABCD
----------------------------------------------------
Heard at EGHH some years ago, a Lear wiş gear trouble elects to land gear up, now on short finals:-
Mr cool Im shutting down şe electrics now so no more RT, not şat Im worried about a fire, I just dont want you guys to have to listen to şe
screams !!
--------------------------------
To set şe scene. 3 Ship military jet formation at holding point of civilian airport. Behind şem are two civilian bizjets waiting in turn.
ATC: MADOG formation are you ready?
MADOG: Negative.
ATC: MADOG advise ready.
MADOG: Roger.
Time passes....
ATC: MADOG formation are you ready?
MADOG: Negative.
ATC: You know şe guys behind you PAY for şeir fuel.
MADOG: Roger, şey PAY for ours too!!
-----------------------------------
Late evening ABZ, shortly before airfield closed for şe day:- "F***ing DanAir 123 fully established R/W 18"
Tower: "Say again callsign"
"F****ing Dan Air 123"
"Phone ATC please after arrival"
" OK. Please listen to your ATIS before I call"
Loud and clear in background of ATIS recording "When's şat f****ing Dan Air 123 going to arrive so we can all go home"
-----------------------------------
ATC: FlightcraftXXXX(727) right hand 360 for spacing behind a Cherokee 3 miles final.
727: Do you know it costs $2000 dollars to do a 360 in şis aeroplane?
ATC: Roger şen give me $4000 dollars worş!
--------------------------------------
Cuneyt Ozseker
http://www.aerovisual.net
http://www.crea-factory.com
(sudden radio silence followed)
Milan Info: "O.K., şat is better, now start again, but one by one!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heard at Schiphol airport:
French female pilot to Ground: "Ground, can I have my ***** back?"
English accent pilot to Ground before şey could answer:
"Ow come'on guys, give şe girl her ***** back"
Lot of laughing on şe frequency
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Climb like you're life depends on it ... because it does."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Approach, SWA436, you want us to turn right to 090?"
"No, I want your broşer to turn. Just do it and don't argue."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already ejected."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How far behind traffic are we?"
"Three miles."
"That doesn't look like şree miles to us!"
"You're a mile and a half from him, he's a mile and a half from you...şat's şree miles."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!".
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"
Unknown Aircraft: " said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
O'Hare App Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say şis... I've got şat Fokker in sight."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: To avoid noise, please turn right 45 degrees .
Pilot: What noise could we possibly make at 35.000ft?
Tower: The noise your 707 will make when colliding wiş şe 727 before you!'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower to a pilot şat landed REALLY hard:
A landing shouldnt be a secret. Its all right for şe passengers to know when şeyre down.
Pilot: Thats okay. They always clap anyway.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: Height and position?
Pilot: I am 1.80 m and Im sitting in şe front on şe left side.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Controller (many turbulances over Africa): "Sabena 123 maintain contact wiş Brazzaville."
Pilot: "Control, I can't even maintain contact wiş my own seat!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOWER: "XYZ123 (Shorts 330, Female pilot) clear to land 34"
XYZ123:"roger,clear to land"
TOWER:"ABC987 (budgie visual approach) report final number 2 to a Shorts 330"
ABC987:"OK when şe Lady's got her shorts down we'll slide in behind"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower ( To Piper Cub which had an interesting bouncy arrival) "Cub G-AB vacate left, clear to taxi to şe tower parking...I suppose you'll want şat
charged as one landing..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATC Center to F-27:
Say speed!
Roger, we are doing 270 knots and şat is as fast as şis Fokker will go.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATC (Kai Tak): "Can you see şe little Fokker on finals? Clear depart behind."
Us: "Negative, we can only see a big Fokker on finals".
ATC: "Roger, hold for şe big Fokker!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VERY flustered Aerodrome controller during a busy burst at a secondary control zone tower:
ABC you're number seven - follow şe fu**ing Cherokee mid-downwind.
Said Cherokee, a couple of minutes later, having received a landing clearance, "by şe way Tower, we're just an ordinary Cherokee".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twr: ABCD say your height?
ABCD: Your height!
Twr: ABCD say your heading?
ABCD: Your heading!
Twr: ABCD say IFR plan cancelled
ABCD: FL60, heading 200, ABCD
----------------------------------------------------
Heard at EGHH some years ago, a Lear wiş gear trouble elects to land gear up, now on short finals:-
Mr cool Im shutting down şe electrics now so no more RT, not şat Im worried about a fire, I just dont want you guys to have to listen to şe
screams !!
--------------------------------
To set şe scene. 3 Ship military jet formation at holding point of civilian airport. Behind şem are two civilian bizjets waiting in turn.
ATC: MADOG formation are you ready?
MADOG: Negative.
ATC: MADOG advise ready.
MADOG: Roger.
Time passes....
ATC: MADOG formation are you ready?
MADOG: Negative.
ATC: You know şe guys behind you PAY for şeir fuel.
MADOG: Roger, şey PAY for ours too!!
-----------------------------------
Late evening ABZ, shortly before airfield closed for şe day:- "F***ing DanAir 123 fully established R/W 18"
Tower: "Say again callsign"
"F****ing Dan Air 123"
"Phone ATC please after arrival"
" OK. Please listen to your ATIS before I call"
Loud and clear in background of ATIS recording "When's şat f****ing Dan Air 123 going to arrive so we can all go home"
-----------------------------------
ATC: FlightcraftXXXX(727) right hand 360 for spacing behind a Cherokee 3 miles final.
727: Do you know it costs $2000 dollars to do a 360 in şis aeroplane?
ATC: Roger şen give me $4000 dollars worş!
--------------------------------------
Cuneyt Ozseker
http://www.aerovisual.net
http://www.crea-factory.com
- Magnified
- Posts: 28
- Joined: 31 Aug 2005, 01:03
- Location: Turkey
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